I was at the doctor’s office recently and received discouraging news, the words painting a picture of a long road ahead.
I am fine right now—healthy, even—but it might not be that way forever.
We all are faced with the unknown that is our future.
None of us know how much time we have left.
It is something that we all grapple with, in some way or another, at some point in our lives.
It is easier for us to push aside the unknown as a problem for another day.
We make plans when the future is not promised: this is our paradox.
There are too many variables in the future, too many unknowns, too many directions the story could go.
The unpredictable nature of the future is what allows us the freedom to distance ourselves from it.
It feels different, though, when you are given a glimpse of that future.
When you know, with some semblance of certainty, what type of elements that future will hold.
Instead of feeling like a source of relief, the knowledge becomes a chain.
I feel shackled to a fate I did not imagine for myself, but now carries my name.
The chain is still new to me, which is why it weighs so heavily on my mind right now.
I know the significance will fade over time, as all things do.
Soon this knowledge will be absorbed into the narrative of my life; it will become just another part of me.
At the moment, I am in the middle of the adjustment period, coming to terms with what has changed and what has not.
My day-to-day life is identical, but I now see the world with a new pair of eyes.
I have had the tough conversations—with myself, with the man I have been dating for six years.
I have confronted the idea of the family I imagined for myself through this altered lens.
I don’t have all the answers to the difficult questions life has posed.
Source: Apple Cinnamon Muffins
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